I'm not about to make a bulleted list about why this upcoming week has suddenly turned into an asshole but it'll be a rough one for Katy.
Sabrina, if you're reading this before Monday... I interviewed Joe and he told me at the end of the interview that he doesn't want the article to delve into his accident and recovery which pretty much takes away from the entire purpose of writing the article. However, he did say "not yet" which means he might be more open towards media attention once his healing process has progressed... Bah!
Holidays confuse me. For whatever reason, families feel obligated to force their negative attractions together and pretend to be normal and functional for one day which always, always, always involves alcohol.
My Uncle's girlfriend Michelle is, hands down, the most insane human I've ever been around. While I've only seen her sober once, it's pretty safe to assume that she has some substantial functions lacking in her noggin. See, Michelle stumbled my way late last night, beer in hand, sat down and proceeded to explain why the Muppets cartoon show turns her on. How do you respond to something of sorts? Smile and nod? Agree? Scoot down a seat cushion? I told her that she was forgetting her cigarettes outside* which got her giggling out the door.
Yesterday was bizarre. *this statement was used several times throughout the night.
Dustin and I realized how badly Cody cuts corners and fails to maintain a steady speed while driving behind him in thick fog tonight on the way to Tio Pepe's. Nevertheless, the drive was well worth it (disregard the immediate "cut across three lanes due to Cody's reckless driving" stunt) and I was able to catch up with Dustin AND have a good dinner.
The Loose Cannons showing was pretty amusing. . . We crammed nearly thirty people into a small-medium sized living room and sprawled out on the floor. I bought a copy, if anybody is interested in watching it (sorry you couldn't make it, Sabrina!).
Chicago went as well as expected. My grandparents' insanity undoubtedly advances as they age but I suppose that's normal. Just a recap of their moments:
First and foremost, they picked me and Colin up at Midway, midday (oh ho ho) on Wednesday where we drove on I-55 at 15mph while they bickered over my some-odd great grandfather who invented the first "TASTY laxative."
While at dinner at Billy Goats, my step-grandpa leaves five choppy voice mail messages on my cell phone. I call him back and half way thru the conversation, I start cracking up while my grandma bitches in the background and disconnects the phone with her hair. I put my head down and begin crying because I'm laughing. Then I'm laughing because I'm crying because I'm laughing. You get the point.
I couldn't ride their elevator alone... I might get raped.
I get to their condominium and slip into an intentional coma at 4:30 PM and wake up at 7:30 the next morning with "SHALOM KATY!" notes taped right in front of my eyes.
I caught Sam Dehaven's cold, so they took me to Walgreen's to get cold medicine, however, they made me speak to their pharmacist about what we should get.
This is just a few, of course. I still cringe at the thought of coming to a complete stop on I-55 on the way to Midway during 20F snow flurries. Or my ignorant grandma thinking every black human speaks Swahili.
They're still deceivingly cute though. So yesterday morning, my dad's making up a grocery list and Sam had a suggestion: "What about some hargon gonaxide for my stupid zit!" This resulted in my dad immediately dancing around, shrugging his shoulders while singing "hargon gonaxide" to "hava nagila".
It's Sunday and I'm already ready for the weekend.
